In The Same Boat
by dobokdude
Summary: Set during and after Trials of the Darksaber. Sabine has been hiding something for a long time, and it's not just her family. She won't let Ezra or anyone else reach out to her, and this inevitably leads to her breaking point. But when the damage has been done, can she put herself back together to save the Alliance? Some EzraxSabine, Rated T for mature themes
1. Chapter 1

**In The Same Boat, a Star Wars Rebels fanfiction**

 **Hey guys, so here is a SWR fic for Valentine's Day(though this will be a bit dark) This is gonna be an alternate writing of the scene from Trials of the Darksaber and an alternate ending. Be prepared for some emotional intensity.**

 **NOTE: I own nothing in my stories except OCs and the stories themselves, but any actual characters and settings belong to their rightful owners. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 1**

Sabine trudged across the Atollon wilderness, until finally she kneeled against a rock. Taking a deep breath, she sighed and looked at the sunset. It just all felt like so much. Fighting the Empire already took a physical and emotional toll, but now the group expected her to master some legendary weapon and get her estranged family to be buddy buddy with them.

On one hand, she understood. Their rebellion was barely getting by with hand me down equipment and parts from the Clone Wars and what could be given to them by Senator Organa. A-Wings and blockade runners were cheap enough, but with every battle some pilot and crew members were lost. The clans of Mandalore that remained not only had skilled warriors, but also a good supply of weapons and the numbers to boot. Their fighters could even double as troop transports, which would mean ground teams could be deployed on missions. Without transports, most of the cell's operations were fighter-based.

'' _Still, they wouldn't understand if they knew the real reason.''_ Sabine thought to herself. _''They don't know how painful it is, how much it hurts.''_

Suddenly she heard footsteps coming up behind her. She knew who it was immediately.

''Hey.''

''Not now Ezra.''

''Look I just wanted to say I know what it's like. Believe me, Kanan's not the easiest teacher to have, but he means well.''

''Does he? Do any of them? I know how to fight. I believe I can learn to use that sword. I just don't want everything that comes with it. You mean your family? I'm a disgrace to them, Ezra. A traitor.''

''But that's not true.''

''To them it is. You don't know. No one does.''

''Sabine that isn't true. Everyone on the Ghost knows what that's like. Heck I even know-''

''NO YOU DON'T!''

Ezra's eyes widened at the sudden outburst. ''Sabine I didn't me-''

Sabine stomped right up to him, ''Look here, Bridger. Stop trying to appeal and relate to me. Ever since the day we met, you've always been trying to get on my good side. First it was those Force-awful attempts at trying to impress me, and now you're so insensitive that you'd mock what I'm feeling right now by comparing it to yourself? Even during our sparring matches you were arrogant as hell! Why don't you just go, between you Kanan and that dumb sword I'm losing it!

Sabine looked down at the ground for a few seconds, then looked at Ezra. In the meerest words of the Basic language, he looked absolutely hurt. Their eyes locked for a second then he looked away. Sabine looked closer. Were those tears welling up…

Ezra then turned and began walking away. Sabine then started to feel bad. She hadn't meant to be so harsh, she was just under so much pressure. Why did he have to push her so far?

''Hey Sabine.''

Sabine turned to see Ezra had stopped walking but wasn't facing her.

''What?''

''You're right Sabine, I could never know what it's like. You know why?''

''Why?''

''Because at least you have parents to go back to.''

And with that Ezra kept walking. Sabine just sat not saying a word. And then the tears began to flow. It was too much, it was all too much. When she was sure Ezra was far away, Sabine opened a pocket on her hip and pulled out a small knife. She then took off her left gauntlet and looked at the faded lines in her skin.

Taking a deep breath, she pressed the blade underneath the fourth line, and a second later a 5th one joined the others.

As blood began to trickle, Sabine began to cry harder. _''I'm a disgrace.''_ She thought to herself, _''I'm just a disgrace.''_ ''


	2. Chapter 2

**In The Same Boat Ch 2**

 **Well shit everyone sorry for the long wait. Good thing I'm getting this out before Season 4. Also I will be updating many of my other fics so please check those out as that will act as motivation to update more regularly.** **Anyway let's get on with it. Remember, Star Wars Rebels is owned by Disney and its affiliates, please support the official release. I only own OCs.**

"Phoenix Two, watch yourself!"

"Behind you Ghost, twelve o'clock!"

Hera gritted her teeth as the Ghost vibrated from turbolaser bolts pounding the shields. Readings said they wouldn't hold too much longer at this rate. They had to secure the supplies. Now.

"We need to end this now people! Resolve, is the cargo secure?"

The CR90 Corvette in question was currently docked onto the Imperial space station they were attacking. The mission was simple, or at least it was supposed to be. Get in, grab the supplies from this remote outpost, and be off. Though the facility was a bit more defended than anticipated, they managed to destroy the turrets near the docking bay and occupied the fighters, allowing the boarding team to initiate the extraction phase.

"Ghost, this is Captain Argot, the boarding crew has extracted the supply crates. Undocking now."

"Roger Captain. Sabine, Ezra we're getting out of here. Try to keep those TIEs off us while we prep the hyperdrives."

Being a rebel, there were bound to be bad days. But for Sabine those seemed to become more constant.

As she did her best to fire on the last Imperial fighters, reducing them to sparks and scrap metal, she couldn't help but feel...distracted.

Having grown up in a warrior culture, she knew better. Such a thing could easily be used to the advantage of the enemy. But she couldn't help it. So much had happened 2 weeks ago. Before that she had found the legendary Darksaber. While she couldn't help but feel a level of glee at holding it, like that of a child who recieves a new toy, she didn't feel such an artifact could be wielded by her.

Then her friends, even Hera, had pressured her into training to use it to rally Mandalore's clans against the Empire. She understood why. They were outnumbered, outgunned and often outmatched by Imperial forces. Mandalorian warriors, their various weapons, and fleet of fighters/troop transports could greatly even the odds. But the training at least for now hadn't worked out. Kanan had decided she should cool down before trying again.

"All right jumping, now!" And then the view of TIEs and their remains gave way to the blurred blue lines of hyperspace. Sabine slumped back in turret seat. "Glad that's over."

She got up and climbed down into the main cabin of the ship, grabbing a can of jogan juice and sitting down in the dining booth.

Justmas she began sipping her drink, Ezra came into room. Sabine quickly lowered her gaze. She and Ezra hadn't spoke ince their argument. It had been an award 2 weeks.

After several moments of silence, Ezra decided to break the ice, "Hey Sabine. That was uh, some nice shooting back there."

" Thanks, you too."

More silence followed, until Sabine decided to speak up, "Look Ezra, about what I said earlier-"

"It's okay Sabine. But what's going on with you lately? It's not just me, but you don't seem to be talking to anyone, even at briefings you barely utter a word."

"It's nothing Ezra. Just alot on my mind, that's all." Sabine gulped down the rest of her drink, threw the can in the trash bin and headed to her quarters.

Once there, she got on her bunk and stared at the wall next to her. On it was a painting of her and the Ghost crew, depicted in a cartoony style.

She smiled slightly at seeing the mural. It reminded her that in all this chaos and war she had a family.

At least one that still considered her to be such.

Derrek Argot sat in his command chair, right in front of a hologram of Commander Sato. "So the mission was successful, Captain?"

"Yes sir. According to the manifest, we retrieved two crates of thermal detonators, 3 crates of DH-17 blasters, and 10 rocket launchers, 4 rockets each."

"Anything else?"

Argot looked back down at the datapad, then looked up with a smirk, "How does 30 gallons of bacta sound?"

Sato's image nodded approvingly, "Excellent work. Though unfortunately, there will be no downtime when you return."

The captain's grin disappeared. How he had been looking forward to a few games of dejarik, some time with...her.

"What's the next mission sir?"

"You will be given full details once you return. But here's a hint, the combat will be more ground based."

"Huh, that'll be a nice change of scenery. Good for the pilots too, these hit and run raids have been burning them out."

"I agree. Full briefing when you return. Sato out." The transmission then ended.

"Out of the frying pan and back into the fire, eh D-X98?"

A turquoise protocol droid walked up to the captain's chair. Aside from the collar it had the typical appearance it's droid type, except one eye was missing.

"Yes, I must concur with that organic expression. Even my circutis feel they're going to burst over all this stress. Just like my eye."

"X98, you lost your eye in a firefight remember?"

"Pardon me sir. Seems my memory banks haven't been fully repaired. "

"Don't worry we'll getnyou fixed up. I think the boys snagged a few parts while raiding the station."

"Well Master Argot, my main concern at the moment is you. I cannot process how overwhelmed you must be feeling. It's been quite awhile since you and Miss Julia have seen each other."

Argot sighed, "Yeah you're right. But it's for the good of the Rebellion. Anyway why don't you power down for a bit, you'll need your energy for the next op."

"I concur sir." And with that the droid went over to a seat and then a humming noise was made as its body went limp.

In the midst of their conversation, neither the droid nor the captain noticed the something small scurry away from the room and into a nearby vent...


End file.
